I have a migraine and I brought the tape recorder with me to bed. Someone transcribed the voice file and posted it to this blog. This is a meditation technique I first learned from Insight Meditation, http://www.dharma.org/
and, then, over the years, I've gotten more experienced at it. I did not have migraines when I first learned about this. I had back and neck pain, which I still have.
The idea is that rather than focus on how angry I am, rather than staying embroiled in the migraine, this technique helps me detach a bit. It's more of an observation; I'm observing myself calmly without judgment, and I'm very focused on the physical right now and not the emotional - although that may come up, and I'll observe it then. But I'm more focused on the physical.
So what does that mean? First of all, I'm lying in bed comfortably. I've got several towels over my head so I can block out the light. Now, you may wonder, why I don't close the shades, which would be better... I wouldn't need so many towels over my head. However, I'm in a building where management will still not heat the building, and, so, I need the heat to come in from the sun. But those of you that can close the shades, should. Make sure that the phone is unplugged so that there's no phone ringing and no sudden noises. (I know someone whose husband goes into the closet.) A few times when I was staying in a guesthouse away from home, and I had a migraine, I could not stand the sounds from outside, I lay down on the bathroom floor, and it was much quieter. You decide.
I notice what is the strongest sensation. Right now, it's on the right side of my head, on the temple. One of the most important questions to ask is: Do I feel a pressure from the outside coming in or from the inside going out? This is one of the questions the neurological doctors will ask. I often have to pause before being able to answer this question. For me, right now, it's from outside coming in on the right-hand side, and it also itches. After I scratch it, I get the eyes covered again.
Now it just so happens that I have Ulnar Neuropathy in both elbows, so I when I lie down I put a towel under the nerve (under the elbow) so that it's softer under the elbow that's on the bed. The other elbow is on my hip. Now there's a pushing sensation into the back. It feels like I've been walking around for days with a backpack full of rocks. Now it's on the left side on the lower back. But the strongest sensation is still on the right side of the head just over the eye.
There are other very useful questions you can ask yourself, such as: is it a sharp pain? Is it dull? Is it throbbing? If there is an intense throbbing, be sure to breathe deeply, in and out, as you do this exercise. I read an interesting theory that migraines result from people not getting enough oxygen to the head. So be very sure that you're breathing deeply.
I feel like I'm in the early 1900's when women were in corsets, where they had string in the back to tie it so tight that they could barely breathe. It feels like I've got something like that on my body because when I try to breathe deeply it feels like my back is stopped by something. There's also some sensation on my left temple in that same area near the left eye. My right hip also feels constrained.
Someone just honked a car horn somewhere. With all the windows closed, it would be nice to get some fresh air, but it would be too much noise from outside. It's truly amazing over the last few years I've been using this technique, I almost always fall asleep even though that's not really my intention. My intention is just to find a compassionate way to get through this.
There are some pins and needles over the bridge of my nose, just briefly, and then it goes away. There are some sharp pains also at the right temple area.
I had a cynical thought as if someone were saying to me, “Why don't you get a lobotomy?” The mind goes all over the place when you have a migraine. It's harder to concentrate on simple things like getting the date right. My mind becomes more sluggish. I may need to pause and regain my thought just because these physical sensations are very, very distracting.
I had physical therapy this morning, but I was not able to count - usually we count how many times I'm doing the leg lift with ankle weights or different exercises - but I just could not keep count today.
There is nothing wrong with reminding myself to breathe deeply because it is easier to forget. The weather changed quite a bit. We had six consecutive days of 70 degrees, and then we had rain early this morning, with lightning and thunder. Many of us with migraines discuss having difficulty when the weather changes. I don't just mean the changes of the seasons, but from one day to the next.
I went to a number of Meditation retreats at Insight Meditation Society located outside of Worcester, Massachusetts. Just Google "Insight Meditation" and you'll see that there are Insight Meditation centers in Denver, Boston, New York, D.C., Redwood City and other locations. If you do not see a location near you contact http://www.dharma.org/.
There are many forms of meditation. I'll talk more about this in upcoming posts. This exercise helped me so much!
