You Have Something to Offer - Portuguese

Para aqueles de nós que estão doentes e / ou dor muitas vezes nos sentimos inúteis. Vemos o mundo cantarolando, ouvir sobre os muitos sucessos dos outros e saber de desespero, "Como vou conseguir nada na vida, quando eu toma cada grama de força que eu tenho que passar o dia?"

Quando eu caí de 5 anos neste fim de semana, tornou-se extremamente doloroso para fazer qualquer coisa com um dos meus braços. Comer, abrindo a porta da geladeira, corte uma abobrinha, arrancando uma folha de papel higiênico estavam todos fora das cartas doloroso. Eu fui abençoado em que eu achei fé em ação. Esta organização tinha voluntários que me levou e de consultas médicas. Uma pessoa veio uma vez por semana para ajudar a cortar legumes e preparar hambúrgueres.

Comecei a me perguntar quantas pessoas no mundo vive assim? Como é que vamos encontrar um outro? Será que eu vou sentir útil novamente? Como posso diminuir minha dor, pelo menos, um pouco?

Falei muitas vezes com um conselheiro, Jane. Ela não queria ouvir sobre a dor. Jane me incentivou a focar em coisas que me fez sentir útil. Comecei a falar em um gravador sobre a minha vida pré-acidente em que eu viajei ao redor do mundo (ver 40countriesbymyself.blogspot.com). Jane iria falar muito sobre encontrar um trabalho voluntário. Meu médico me incentivou a fazer algo que me fez sentir melhor. No 3 º ano que eu ensinei a educação financeira por algumas horas (ver dontyougobroke.blogspot.com).

Este fim de semana marca o início do 6 º Ano da vida nova. Estou me sentindo um pouco melhor e ter um estudante de faculdade me ajudar algumas horas por semana. Eu ditar entradas de blog e meu ajudante transcreve-los. Sou capaz de ler alguns minutos por dia.

O nome do conselheiro foi alterado.Sei que a Fé em Ação é uma organização americana, mas talvez haja uma igreja local ou outra organização que ajuda.

你有什么要优惠

对于我们这些谁生病和/或疼痛，我们常常觉得自己一无是处。我们看到了全球经济的蓬勃一直以来，听到别人的许多成就和绝望惊奇，“如何才能做到任何事情，当我在生活中它采取了一切力量每盎司我得度过这一天吗？” 当我5年以前的这个周末下跌，它成为极度痛苦的事，都与我的怀里或者任何东西。吃，打开冰箱门，切片1西葫芦，撕毁了厕所纸都超乎想象的痛苦。我是幸运的，我发现在行动信仰。该组织已志愿者谁把我从医疗和任命。一个人每周走访一次，帮助切片蔬菜，并准备汉堡包。 我开始不知道世界上许多人喜欢这样的生活？我们如何找到彼此？我将永远觉得自己有用吗？如何可以减少我的痛苦至少一点点？
我说话的一个辅导员，简。她不想听到的痛苦。简鼓励我把重点放在事情让我觉得非常有用。我开始为我的生活中发生意外前，我在世界各地旅行录音机说话（见40countriesbymyself.blogspot.com）。简谈会找志愿者的工作很多。我的医生鼓励我做一些事情使我感觉更好。在第三年，我教了几个小时的金融教育（见dontyougobroke.blogspot.com）。 本周末标志着这个年6日开始新的生活。我感觉好一点，并有一名大学生帮我一个星期只用几个小时。我主宰博客条目和帮助我的转录他们。我可以每天读几分钟。 对于我的读者谁想要向全世界提供一些我强烈建议阅读由大卫米尔曼斯科特（2010）市场营销和公关的新规则。读这本书让我觉得充满希望，我将学习如何使用互联网，以达到更好地了解他人和自己的感觉。
该顾问的名称已更改

You Have Something to Offer

For those of us who are ill and/or in pain we often feel useless. We see the world humming along, hear about the many successes of others and wonder with despair, “How will I accomplish anything in life when I it takes every ounce of strength I’ve got to get through the day?”

When I fell 5 years ago this weekend, it became excruciatingly painful to do anything with either of my arms. Eating, opening the refrigerator door, slicing a zucchini, tearing off a sheet of toilet paper were all off the charts painful. I was blessed in that I found Faith in Action http://www.fianationalnetwork.org/. This organization had volunteers who drove me to and from medical appointments. One person came once a week to help slice vegetables and prepare hamburgers. To find a local Faith in Action organization near you Google "Faith in Action" and the nearest Faith in Action will appear. Each group has a slightly different emphasis.

I began to wonder how many people in the world live like this? How do we find one another? Will I ever feel useful again? How can I reduce my pain at least a little?

I spoke often with a counselor, Jane . She did not want to hear about the pain. Jane encouraged me to focus on things that made me feel useful. I started talking into a tape recorder about my pre accident life in which I traveled around the world (see 40countriesbymyself.blogspot.com). Jane would talk a lot about finding volunteer work. My doctor encouraged me to do something that made me better about myself. In the 3rd year I began dictating about making scarry money matters easy for folks (see dontyougobroke.blogspot.com).

This weekend marks the beginning of Year 6 of this new life. I am feeling a little better and have a college student help me a few hours a week. I dictate blog entries and my helper transcribes them. I can read a few minutes a day.

For any of my readers who want to offer something to the world I strongly recommend reading The New Rules of Marketing and PR by David Meerman Scott (2010) see davidmeermanscott.com and http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=david+meerman+scott. Reading The New Rules makes me feel hopeful that I will learn how to use the internet to reach others and feel better about myself.

(The counselor’s name has been changed.)

A Member of My Extended Family Died

Yesterday I received a call from my mother. She sounded exceptionally on edge and said, “I have bad news”. At first I thought it was my father or one of my aunts or uncle. “Slava Fintel died. We just received the news. I feel so numb.” I wasn’t sure how to comfort her.

After we hung up I started walking around the kitchen and folding towels. I unpacked 2 new towels with apples and blue trim and placed them at the top of my towel pile. I lined up all of the towels since I learned the importance of an orderly home at some of the Buddhism retreats I had been on many years ago. It took a good 3 minutes before I was conscious of my actions and decided to look for other ways to deal with the many emotions that came up at once.

My first impulse was to put on a movie I rent from Netflix but I had just mailed back the movies I rented and realized it would be another few days before a new movie would arrive in those familiar red envelopes. Besides, it was a beautiful day so I thought I would take advantage of the pleasant weather and walk. It didn’t take long before my feet started to carry me to a large bookstore nearby.

No matter what I did it didn’t feel right. World War II occurred long before I was born but I was left with very few live ancestors. My parents often met with a group of couples who studied together in Germany after the war. I spent many childhood days with these folks and their kids. They were my extended family. Slava, her husband, Mark and their 3 kids were always there.

Why am I taking this so hard? What is it about chronic pain and chronic illness that makes me feel so vulnerable, so helpless? If I were healthy, and especially if I had a life that I loved, would I be responding to Slava’s death quite in this way? My caring would be the same but would I feel quite so lost? Slava was my parents’ age so I wonder whether her passing makes the abstract of my parents’ coming death more real to me.

“Be with it”. I fondly remembered one of my Theravada Buddhism teachers, Narayan Liebenson Grady. When she first taught me that concept I had no idea what it could have meant. After many years of Mindfulness practice, I realize that my first impulse is to run from the many feelings, cover them up, distract my mind. So now, through this writing, I am observing the thoughts and feelings.

During the 1990’s, I took many relationship workshops, was in a singles support group, read countless Self Improvement books, and deepened my Buddhism study. Despite having acquired all of those relationship tools I feel as if I am in some sort of emotional demilitarized zone. I seem to be ping ponging around between a sense of loss and a dread of increased, future vulnerability.

It is comforting to share these thoughts with others who have long term pain and illness. Perhaps I am not alone in these feelings. There are physical problems, too. I have a Migraine with shooting pains on the left side toward the back of my head. It is difficult to fall asleep. It helps to remember to be patient with myself.

Migraines and Meditation My Own M&M's

I woke up a couple of weeks ago with a migraine on both sides but pounding more on the left side, the left frontal lobe area. There was some shooting pain in the back of my head, on the right side.

When I get migraines like this, I take Tylenol, and I take Petadolex. Petadolex is something that I buy at Whole Foods. Sometimes the store has to order it for me. http://www.wholefoods.com/. You will not find Petadolex listed on the WholeFoods website. You will find store locations and telephone numbers. See http://www.amazon.com/Enzymatic-Therapy-Petadolex-Pro-Active-softgels/product-reviews/B0017K8VRQ/ref=dp_db_cm_cr_acr_txt?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1. I use it only when my Migraine is the worst. Ask your neurologist BEFORE taking it.

Chicagoland readers- Dr. Thomas Freedom is an open minded Neurologist http://www.northshore.org/. Other readers if you don't yet have a Neurologist you are comforable with, ask your Primary Care physician or your Psychiatrist (if you see one). It took me years to find good matches. I like Dr. Freedom because he has patients who have had success with Butterbur and he doesn't push meds on me.

I usually buy Butterbur at WholeFoods or at the Vitamin Shoppe http://www.vitaminshoppe.com/.

Petadolex is very expensive - a dollar a pill. But I have to say that sometimes it helps. It has a certain kind of Butterbur inside. There have been a lot of articles about people who suffer from migraines getting relief by taking Butterbur on a regular basis. Butterbur is an herb.

Now, there's a very kind manager at the Vitamin Shoppe. She and I were chatting once two years ago. She told me that her husband suffers from migraines. I saw her a month ago, and she told me her husband is better. Wonderful news! She said he used to go into the closet when he had a migraine, which I understand very well because it's quieter there, and it's dark. However it's just not warm enough inside my closet, otherwise I would consider doing that, but I get cold easily. So, she said he takes Butterbur with Vitamin B2, Magnesium and Riboflavin - takes it every day, twice a day. He also cannot consume chocolate – forget it. If you don't have a Whole Foods or Vitamin Shoppe near you talk to your local health food store. Let me know what progress you are making!

Back to my Migraine. I slept a little bit in the morning to tried to cope with the pain. I just kept very still, covered my eyes and laid with the pillow under my knees. I'm an experienced meditator, and the past few years have given me LOTS of opportunities to meditate, and, so, I have experimented with following the pain. It's not nearly as easy as it sounds because the mind goes all over the place, and when we're in pain, the mind really jumps around, ping pongs, so it's quite something to actually follow the pain or, as my Buddhism teachers call it, "the sensation".

The meditation helps me calm a little bit. And I ask myself "Is this pain moving"? And these are some of the same questions the doctors ask- "Is the pain coming from the outside-in or going from the inside-out?" " Is it more so on one side or on the other?" "Does it start in one place and move to another place?" All of these kinds of questions that I don't even say out loud really help me. Who knows? Does it help because it just gives the mind something else to think about besides, “I'm in so much pain,” or does it help because I become more of an observer of the pain rather than experiencing quite so much (which actually again gives the mind something else to do besides focus on how terrible this is)? I consider it a blessing that I have had so much meditation practice over the years, that I have been to so many meditation retreats.

I have also used 2 visualization CD's that have been very helpful at other times when my mind is quieter. See http://www.healthjourneys.com/. 1st) Self Confidence 2) Combat Depression. After a number of years, and considerable visualization and meditation practice, I developed my own scripts.

Back to Migraines. Some of the doctors said that you cannot skip meals if you have a tendency towards migraines. The doctor from a headache clinic, really emphasized not skipping meals, so I forced myself to eat regular meals today, but I still had to sleep. I really was not able to function until about 9 PM, which is not a good way to start the day. I still have a Migraine, two weeks later, and I notice it the most with certain sounds, such as when I turn on the water faucet to wash my hands. The sound of running water just makes me feel like my head is splitting open, but if I keep it dark in here, and if there are no sudden sounds or even no sounds at all, it's not as bad.

I had really, really wanted to rest, go out in nature today, go to the exercise pool because yesterday was really tough. I took a class, and halfway through the class, I had such severe neck pain, and, by the next day, I had severe hip pain in the right hip. So, I thought that today would be just a really good day to relax, but I was not able to do that, and tomorrow I have to go to a medical appointment. I didn't remember today - I had forgotten this - that every year in August, since I started to have frequent migraines, it is usually tougher than July. I think it's because something must be happening in the barometer, something that most people don't feel, but it must be because we're moving into Fall.

It's good to remember to be grateful. That helps a lot, as does using techniques to help feel more calm, more optimistic, realizing that there are so many people in the world who have it much worse off than I do. But, when I woke up in the morning, I did have those thoughts again: "Why me?" "Not again." "I wish I were dead". I have to be extremely careful with dangerous thoughts, especially with that last thought. I don't mean to scare off any readers by speaking so graphically. My intention is to be open about some of the dark moments because we can help one another - lift each other up!

They teach in meditation practice, "Just observe the thought – let it come and go. Don't hold onto thoughts". See http://www.dharma.org/.

This is the Insight Meditation Society (Massachusetts) website. I was there a number of times for retreats. The website offers Podcasts, Screaming Retreat Talks and much more. I realize that some people may be a little bit put off by a Buddhism website but I can not imagine a lower key place. Everyone I have met there was raised to observe a religion other than Buddhism.

Back to my migraine. I was angry; I was very angry that, once again, I have to go through yet another debilitating Migraine, but, coming back to gratitude, there are so many people who have it much worse than I do. Even more important, I remind myself I so many body functions that are working properly!!! I sure do feel better!

NOTE Consult with your doctor. Advice in this blog is based on personal experience(s) and should not be understood as medical advice.

Feelin' Sorry for Myself Where is my Magic Elf?

I had non-stop Migraines for the past 2 weeks. It sure has been depressing and debilitating. Sometimes I feel so useless, like , out there people are accomplishing so much and here I am just figuring out how to get through the day. I try and try to get well and am I ever going to be well? I’m afraid when I’ll get older that my conditions will worsen.

Once again constant Migraines
All I can think about is the Pain
Feelin’ sorry for myself
Where is my fairy godmother, or even a magic elf?
Long ago I was sure I’d have Fame

When I am down it often helps a whole lot to give thanks.

August is National Inventor’s Month. Started in 1998 by the United Inventors Association of the USA (UIA-USA), the Academy of Applied Science, and Inventors' Digest magazine.

I sure would like to thank the people who invented-
Wheels on suitcases
The stock market (see Dontyougobroke.blogspot.com) [do not use an apostrophe]
Rock ‘n Roll

Physical Therapy
International travel
International schools
(I taught there a long time ago-see 40countriesbymyself.blogspot.com))
Chocolate, especially chocolate brownies (although I can’t eat it anymore)
Color Boxes – used for stamping. I use them as paint brushes
Chiropractic adjustments
Airplanes
Acupuncture

One Day Op Ed Class-Yikes that Hurt

Herman Hesse, winner of the Nobel Prize in Literature, author of Siddhartha, died on August 9, 1962

I read Siddhartha when I was 16 years of age. Siddhartha left home to find enlightenment. I liked the book very much but had no idea when I read it that I, too, would sacrifice a lot to search.

And so, it was as part of this search that I took a seminar a couple of days ago, the Op Ed Project. Although I published a number of letters to the editor in major Chicago newspapers, I had always felt intimidated to submit an Op Ed piece.

It was uplifting to spend the day with 20 other really smart women all of whom are dedicated to make a difference in the world. We started with a morning exercise of learning how to introduce ourselves powerfully in a professional setting. This activity was very tough for all of us. I have always been uncomfortable marketing myself believing that my work should speak for itself. What surprised me most about this exercise was how many women left out the most important accomplishments.

Later the seminar facilitator broke an Op Ed down into different parts. This approach was very effective. When I taught 7th grade Math and we came to a concept my students found difficult, I broke the task into smaller steps and had my students apply the skills before we went onto the next step. What had been a daunting task became doable and fun.

But by 2 pm my neck, back and arms hurt a great deal. By the time I got home the pain in my neck was really bad. I had to sleep for over 10 hours and take a long warm bath. It depressed me to think that I can’t even take a one day class without going through so much pain and taking a step backwards. The next day my hips hurt a lot, too. Because this class comes to Chicago only once per year, I took it but it was the only one day class I took in years. Just have to continue living with my limitations and be grateful for what I can do.